After a few hours of being “on”, I need to take a step back and allow myself time to be alone and focus on me. This is my “Recharge & Rejuvenate” time. Or as Sean likes to say, “you’re going to hibernate”.
He understands me so well. I’m so thankful I found a partner who gets the things I need and finds ways to make those things possible for me. While I withdraw to the bedroom to find some solice, Sean stays in the livingroom playing his new XBOX 360 game, or watching the news...relishing his time alone as much as I.
We are introverts. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just something that a lot of people (like you extroverts) can’t wrap their brain around. Christine was just discussing this very same thing the other day and referenced this article Caring for your Introvert
Are introverts misunderstood?
Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. “It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert,” write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.
Alone Time. The best time. Personally, I can not fathom how people don’t want to be alone. Or the need to be around others all the time. It’s thoroughly exhausting for me to have to be around people all the time.
I remember my wedding day, and being the center of attention, surrounded by people I love and care about like no others. And even then, after 5 hours of being “on” and being the hostess, I was so done. I remember climbing into the back of the town car for the ride back to our hotel and being wrapped up in Sean and relishing the fact that soon I’d get to be alone and peaceful.
(many actors, I’ve read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors)
One little line that sums it all up for me. I didn’t or hadn’t realized that others felt that way as well. There’s some sort of relief in knowing that I’m not alone. That when we introverts are out there playing in the world, it’s like putting on a show. We are “on” for the rest of the world and that’s just simply draining in long stretches.
Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on”, we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay - in small doses."
