So last night we had our First Memorial Day BBQ in quite a few years. I love having a backyard and being able to BBQ whenever the mood strikes. It seems, at least from this past winter, that you could realistically BBQ in North Carolina year round. I love BBQ!
Anyway, we were cooking it up and after prepping some food in the kitchen, I went out on to the patio to turn the chicken over when I noticed (our new sorta kinda not really cat) Misty next to a large leaf of some sort. I couldn’t see it all very well, they were right outside the area where the overhead light reaches, so I had to get closer.
As I stood maybe 5 feet away a warm sensation came over my face and body as the realization that I was standing just feet away from a VERY LARGE SNAKE completely registered in my tiny brain. I could feel my heart start racing as I turned around and ran toward the door literally SCREAMING! YELLING!
I was yelling that there was a snake. That I was near it. That Misty was still sitting next to it. That there was a snake a snake OMG a huge snake.
And after what seemed like 10 minutes, my husband appears, with a broom in one hand and a flimsy box in another. He clearly did not believe that there was a gigantic snake ready to eat my cat and my chicken!
“Call Animal Control”, I yelled. Don’t go out there.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll just wrangle him into this box” (holding up a loosely taped together cardboard box)
“What are you a snake hunter? It’s huge! This is not a small snake!”
“Don’t worry!”
Moments later he comes back into the house and tells me that it’s BIG!
“No Shit! I told you it was big!”
“I thought it was going to be this small little garden snake and that you were flipping out over nothing.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that if I am SCREAMING, YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING TOWARD ME!”
“OKAY! OKAY!”
“We should call Animal Control. They’ll do something.”
Note: Animal Control does nothing about snakes. “Just let it go about it’s business ma’am.” It’s business IN MY BACKYARD SIR, is not okay with me!!
Sean managed to get it into the box with his broom and some quick box maneuvering. I was proud. He almost shit his pants.
For years he has been telling me that he wanted a pet snake. And I was all, “THERE WILL NEVER BE SNAKES IN MY HOUSE”. Well dear internet, let me tell you something, my husband was never serious about wanting a pet snake. He would tell me that just to get me going! He’s just as scared of them as I am. Maybe a little less…he did walk that barely taped cardboard box about a mile away from our house, and threw the snake into the woods.
Me? I would have chopped his head off. Then I would have know THAT ONE was never coming back and I could live in a fantasy world where that was going to be our first and only encounter with any snakes in our backyard so I could enjoy a good BBQ again or ya know, my garden and stuff.
