It makes me sad when I see couples that I have known for a really long time choose to get a divorce.  It is a choice, right?  You could choose to stay together, though I guess if one person doesn’t want to stay together, what choice does the other have?  I don’t know.  It’s not simple.

We (Sean and I) are not getting a divorce, lest you think this little post was about that.  Though we were discussing how much “simpler” (that’s really not the right word) it would be to separate our lives, if we were wealthy. For example, if I wanted, I could stay in this house.  While I might not be able to run it, I could just hire someone to do the yards.  Another to clean the inside.  Perhaps a personal assistant or two who could go to the store for me, walk the dogs, etc.  I couldn’t do all of that by myself and Sean couldn’t either.  That is not however a reason to stay married either.  It’s not really anything, it was just morning banter over coffee.  We talk about some weird shit sometimes. 

I was telling Sean that I really wonder about couples who choose to get divorced after 15 years, 20 years, 30 years of marriage.  What made them stay for so long to begin with? Was it ever good? Did you think it would get better, that you could change her?  Did you plan on making him the man you wanted and not the man he was?  Did you communicate openly and honestly about what you were needing vs. what you were getting?  Did you make time for one another?  Did you hug often and say you were sorry after a fight?  Did they do everything they could to make it work?  Maybe those are just questions I think about because my parents divorced after 17 years. 

I’m thankful every.single.day to be married to Sean.  I know it’s only been 4 years, but we have been together for over 11. He is the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last one I want to talk to at night.  We have bad days, we fight but those are just moments.  And we have so many more moments that are truly wonderful.  Why did I get “lucky”?  Or is it something else?  Is it part luck and part work?  Do people who get divorced not work as hard?  I don’t know if I buy that.

Anyway, I have no real point or direction here, except to convey what I wrote in the first line: It makes me sad