I think lately, I’ve been a little depressed.  Nothing serious or requiring medical attention.  I still get up everyday and I work, and I twitter and sometimes I post really cute photos of Twister on Flickr…

But I have no real desire to do anything.  I missed last weeks One Local Summer Challenge and it looks like this week as well.  I’ve been getting a shitload of tomatoes in the CSA Share, which is great…but how many things can you make with ONE local ingredient.  I had all good intentions on getting to the Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning, but then I just didn’t go.  So no more local stuff in this house except for tomatoes and maybe an onion or two. 

I think part of my problem is the heat.  I always drag a bit when it gets really hot.  And it’s really hot. 

I think the other part of the problem is that I’m really missing Stormy.  I know that probably sounds silly, but his presence was such a huge part of my day for the past 10 years.  It’s hard not to wake up and think about him, and work and think about him, and relax and watch tv and think about him and go to bed and think about him.  I’m not sure I really allowed myself to grieve for him when he passed away.  I think a large part of me just didn’t want to accept that he was gone and now here I am, almost a month later, and there is just no more denial left. 

So, I’m trying really really hard to be patient with myself.  I keep telling myself that I will not beat myself up for all the things I’m not doing that I think I should be doing.  That vicious cycle gets me nowhere.  I’ll continue to do what I’ve been doing and I know eventually things will be better.  My life is filled with blessings and I remind myself of that every chance I get.  Every one of those blessings make each day a little brighter.