Yesterday, while working, I had gotten to a point where I was ready to throw out my laptop.  The humming from the fan was enough to make me mad.  So I went a’searchin’ for some possible causes to my very LOUD non-stop fan issue and found a little piece of good info:

If your computer is still under warranty, call the company and have them send you a replacement part.

Dude, I KNOW!  Who would have thought of that? *dials* I got my new fan this morning and just installed it.  And HOLY HELL this is the best thing.  I feel like I have a new laptop.  It’s so quiet and peaceful.  The fan ONLY goes on when I’m really pushing it...like opening 12 different Adobe programs (do they make 12?) and even then, it’s like this little hum, barely there. Oh man, life is good.  and quiet.  I love it!

I don’t think I could be any happier to see a week end then this past week.  It was just full of annoyances.  I’ll actually be supremely happy when this entire month of March ends, and April is in full force.

Yesterday, I found widgets and they are neat!  Cause there are so many different kinds and they’re like little mini-gadgets for your computer, but not.  I’m fascinated and I think Joelle might kick my ass because I turned her on to the joys of the widget yesterday.  It was all in good fun though

Today I am filled to the BRIM with client work and getting M2 all situated with it’s makeover.  I can’t wait to be done and debut my fancy-pantsy design. It ROCKS!

Have a great Friday everyone!!

After a few hours of being “on”, I need to take a step back and allow myself time to be alone and focus on me.  This is my “Recharge & Rejuvenate” time.  Or as Sean likes to say, “you’re going to hibernate”.

He understands me so well.  I’m so thankful I found a partner who gets the things I need and finds ways to make those things possible for me.  While I withdraw to the bedroom to find some solice, Sean stays in the livingroom playing his new XBOX 360 game, or watching the news...relishing his time alone as much as I.

We are introverts.  And that’s not a bad thing.  It’s just something that a lot of people (like you extroverts) can’t wrap their brain around.  Christine was just discussing this very same thing the other day and referenced this article Caring for your Introvert

Are introverts misunderstood?

Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. “It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert,” write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

Alone Time.  The best time.  Personally, I can not fathom how people don’t want to be alone.  Or the need to be around others all the time. It’s thoroughly exhausting for me to have to be around people all the time. 

I remember my wedding day, and being the center of attention, surrounded by people I love and care about like no others.  And even then, after 5 hours of being “on” and being the hostess, I was so done.  I remember climbing into the back of the town car for the ride back to our hotel and being wrapped up in Sean and relishing the fact that soon I’d get to be alone and peaceful. 

(many actors, I’ve read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors)

One little line that sums it all up for me.  I didn’t or hadn’t realized that others felt that way as well.  There’s some sort of relief in knowing that I’m not alone.  That when we introverts are out there playing in the world, it’s like putting on a show.  We are “on” for the rest of the world and that’s just simply draining in long stretches.

Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on”, we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay - in small doses."

I fucking love this cat!!  She’s so sweet and loveable.  I think we’ll definitely keep her!

I feel like I’m entering, or maybe I already entered, a new stage in my life.  I’m letting go of some old things, and focusing on some brand new stuff.  Trying to buy a house, or at least settle on a place we’re going to move to down south while we actively look for housing.  Preparing my body for getting pregnant, being pregnant, getting the baby out...planning and figuring out how the hell WE are going to be parents! 

Watching the first in my mother’s generation pass away, has really hit me pretty hard.  I think it’s hit alot of my family (siblings, cousins) really hard.  I was discussing this with my cousin Karla last night.  We’ve already been through our grandparents passing and most of the people in that generation are now gone.  The next to go are people who you think will always be around.  I can’t really wrap my brain around the fact that this is where we are and this is what is next.  But I can be thankful that my mom is healthy and out of 6 children, she is the only one without any major medical condition.  She’s alot like her own mother in that way.  If it hadn’t been for that car accident that took my grandmother’s life, I still think she’d be going strong today...12 years later.

Life continues to move forward and things will never be the same again.  This is good!  It might not seem good at first glance, but I have faith that it is. It allows us to change and learn and be better for all the good and bad that has happened.  I’m ready to move into this next phase, and be a better person, a wonderful wife, a good loving mother, and maybe less moody too, but noone hold their breathe waiting for that, mmmkay?

My Aunt passed away Friday night.  It was something we knew was coming.  She had been diagnosed with cancer 4 years ago, and it’s been a long and painful road.  Because of the illness, she hid away from most of her family, only allowing her husband and children to see her.  It’s pretty sad when you think about it.  But the truth is, she was a hard person to get close to.  She always kept her distance, and when she was invited to family get-togethers, she never came.  She never allowed my Uncle to go either.  She secluded herself off from the world long before she got sick.  The sickness only made it worse. 

The three girls in my family will be representing our family at the wake today.  We’re the only one’s left here on the island, and we all feel it’s something we should do out of respect for our Uncle and love for our mother.  My mom isn’t able to make it up here for her brother, so it’s the very least we can do.  I’m going to meet my sister at her house, and then we will go to the funeral home together, where my other sister will meet us.  I’m relieved to know I won’t be there alone, and that I have my sisters and they have me. 

Over the past few days, I’ve been doing alot of thinking about life.  How quickly it passes us by.  How one year turns into 5, then 10, then 20.  Before we know it, the people we once saw as vibrant and alive and always there, will slowly fade from this earth...from our memories.  It’s hard for me today to even remember my Aunt’s face.  I try pulling memories from my childhood, but I can only see bits and pieces...little flashes that I can’t even put together to form a full memory. 

Where has the time gone?

Hey, you!  Where did you come from?  How did you get here?  What’s going on?  Will someone please tell me something!  Who sent you?  What do you want with me?

I need answers!

wicked cool! *geeked*